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-DR. HEATHER S. HOWARD, Sexologist  Mind-Body Health Facilitator
-SEX COUNSELING FROM THE CONVENIENCE OF YOUR HOME...via video chat

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PRIVATE CONSULTATION


Sex is one of the most personal and important areas in a person's life, and seeking help for sexual challenges can feel vulnerable and scary. Finding a place to address sexual concerns that feels safe, sacred and nonjudgmental is crucial for clients to open up about their most private feelings.

A clinical sexologist has unique training to become nonjudgmental about sexual issues and create a safe and sacred space for exploring sexual feelings. A private consultation offers clients an opportunity to work at their own pace and receive personalized care for targeted, rapid progress. The following types of private consultation are available for individuals and couples:

Getting Started 
Your journey begins with just one step: Call or email me (Dr. Heather Howard) to schedule a new client evaluation.  In your first session, we will discuss your goals, your challenges, and how you best learn.  Together, we will figure out your clinical pathway and an ideal starting place.  My rates are available here.   


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Sex Counseling:
Sex counseling allows individuals and couples to address sexual concerns or rehabilitate after a sexually debilitating event.

Individual and couples sexual counseling helps you to identify your sexual goals and offers education, resources, tools and techniques to help you meet those goals and ultimately manage your own sexual growth. The process entails the following steps:

  1. Helping you to identify where you are when you arrive for your first session and where you ultimately want to be
  2. Helping you to identify the factors that allow you to feel safe and those that prevent you from meeting your sexual and intimate goals
  3. Designing and suggesting exercises to help you progressively expand your sexual comfort zone and skills until you reach your goals
  4. Coaching you through the practice of home-based exercises and learning to enhance your understanding and management of your default patterns
  5. Helping you to build and follow your maintenance plan for self-management once you have reached your goals

This is considered “brief therapy,” which is rapid and goal-oriented sexuality counseling, the approach shown most effective in addressing sexual concerns.  If sexual difficulties appear to be rooted in deeper issues that require intensive therapy, I (Dr. Heather Howard) will refer you to a therapist.  Many of my clients meet with therapists and other health care providers throughout our work together and I am happy to collaborate with their care team as a specialist. If I feel that you require medical or other attention before or during your work with me, I will do my best to provide a referral. 

All of the work in private sessions is done through verbal communication and designed to teach you specific skills needed to reach your goals. If experiential modalities are desired, I can facilitate guided meditation, Voice Dialogue and Body Dialogue. I do not practice modalities that include touch, and you will remain clothed in all of your private sessions.  There may be exercises in which you will practice non-sexual touch with your partner during a session, if it is appropriate.  All sexual touch between you and your partner will take place during home-play assignments and we will review your assignments in the following clinical sessions.

Some of the skills you may learn through our work together include the following:

  • Body knowledge and acceptance (e.g. sexual anatomy &
    physiology, pleasure and pain mapping)
  • Identifying comfortable sexual situations and activities
  • Developing sexual competence and confidence
  • Developing trust with one’s body and partner
  • Becoming embodied (helpful with dissociation commonly
    seen with trauma and chronic pain)
  • Remaining present and managing self-talk and anxiety during
    intimacy
  • Tuning into pleasure
  • Building a safe and sacred space for intimate connection
  • Becoming attuned with your partner
  • Setting boundaries
  • Developing an appropriate sexual self
  • Working through fear of touch and loss of control
  • Improving verbal and nonverbal sexual communication
  • Recalibrating the brain’s assessment of painful touch
  • Breaking the association between sexuality and pain or
    trauma

Consultations take place in person or over video chat, such as Zoom. Clinical evaluations last up to 80-minutes and follow-up sessions are offered as 80-minute or 25-minute sessions. Clients who seek experiential techniques for mind-body integration prefer 80-minute sessions. Most clients meet with me every 2 weeks until they meet their goals, in order to have enough time between sessions to practice home-based exercises, and to maintain momentum. Please contact The Center for Sexual Health and Rehabilitation for more details and to schedule your consultation with Dr. Heather Howard.

Rates are available on the Payment Information page.
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Sexual Rehabilitation Program:
This program is designed for couples who have experienced sexual challenges related to health conditions such as pelvic or sexual pain, chronic pain, or limited mobility. You will achieve reduced fear of pain, improved sexual confidence, and satisfying sexual activities for both partners.

You are your partner can come for a series of private clinical sessions to identify your goals and design your customized plan and then follow through with the plan through home-based assignments and with short sessions over the phone or video chat.

Your initial clinical series can be done in an intensive manner or can be spread out over a period of time. At the end of the clinical series, you and your partner will have an understanding of your current and desired sexual patterns, the best approach to teamwork based on your communication styles, and a plan for achieving your goals through home-based exercises.  Perceived obstacles to progress such as fear, pain, shame, frustration, feeling incomplete or dysfunctional as a partner, will be identified and addressed in the program. 

Follow-up phone or video chat sessions will provide you with support and encouragement while you are performing your home-based treatments or exercises, and will provide me with the information required to design subsequent exercises. 

How does the program work?   What happens during a session?
I will work collaboratively with you and your partner to help each of you as individuals and as a team to better understand your bodies, your partnership, and your sexual needs and desires.  Through education and assignments geared towards meeting your sexual goals, your sexual confidence and competence will increase and you will be empowered with information and tools necessary to manage your own care and improvement.  You will also better understand your partner and have tools for communicating your needs on an ongoing basis.

The way this works is we figure out what feels safe, comfortable and pleasurable now.  Then we expand your zone of safety, comfort and pleasure. The following are the steps we will take during your initial clinical sessions:

  1. Identify the goals of each individual and the couple as a team
  2. Discuss each partner’s sex and health history and identify any changes that have taken place due to health or other challenges
  3. Map your pleasure and pain patterns
  4. Learn about your past and current sexual patterns as a couple
  5. Identify long-term sexual options and short-term steps to get there

The short-term steps mentioned in #5 will be implemented through home-play assignments and follow-up telephone or video chat sessions. Follow-up sessions offer support with the process, keep you on track towards meeting your long-term goals, and allow me to gauge your short-term progress in order to ensure your homeplay assignments are designed appropriately.

Please contact The Center for Sexual Health and Rehabilitation for more information and to schedule your program. 

Rates are available on the Payment Information page
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Ergoerotics® Consultation:
Dr. Heather Howard is the founder of Ergœrotics®, a systematic approach to comfortable pleasure which fits the erotic activity and environment to the needs of the user(s). This consultation is ideal for people who experience physical challenges that limit sexual options or cause discomfort with sexual activity. It entails assessing client and partner needs and limitations, offering resources, and suggesting adaptive strategies to prevent injury and improve sexual options, pleasure and comfort.

Ergœrotics® consultations last up to 80 minutes and may be conducted in person or over video chat (e.g. Zoom). Rates are available on the Payment Information page.

Please contact The Center for Sexual Health and Rehabilitation to schedule your consultation with Dr. Heather Howard.
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"During cancer treatment, I felt embarrassed to talk to my partner or doctors about how our sex life disappeared. When I started feeling better and was finally getting my life back, I thought sex would come back too, but it never did. I felt sad and desperate that I lost this part of my marriage and was so thankful when I found Dr. Howard's website and saw that she could work with us online. We met over Skype and she was able to help us talk about what we lost, things we were scared to admit to ourselves. Dr. Howard helped us to accept our loss but also to accept what we still had and could do to satisfy each other. We are surprised that we feel much closer now than before I got sick, and our sex life is even better!"

-Couple after graduating from remote clinical treatment, Chicago

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